If you are reading this, maybe you are curious about fetishes and wonder what it would be like to do something you’ve never done before. Maybe even for a couple of you, you started thinking about fetishes once you got married and wanted to incorporate some fun back into the relationship?

Fetishes can be a great way to bring the romance back into a relationship (if done well). . . .so how do you get started and maintain a healthy relationship as well? Coming from a woman’s perspective, I can give you a few tips on how to talk to your partner about trying a fetish to see if you both like it and find it benefits your relationship.

I think communication is the first and most important factor in starting the journey towards finding a satisfying fetish for both you and your partner. Test the waters here by first asking, ‘What do you think about. . . role play?’ or, ‘What to you think about fetishes?’

Another approach might just be, ‘I am thinking of trying something different in our relationship. Want to try (very mild version of what you want to do).’ Slowly build from there. See what they think of it and let them try it out.

When your approaching your partner about said fetish, don’t demand it, belittle them in anyway (like saying, ‘You never want to have fun with me!’), pout, or guilt them into doing it. They will only resent you for it.

Do ask nicely, show them how it would work, and tell them you respect their opinion and want them to at least think about this (and who doesn’t love being told their opinion is respected? )

At first, your partner might feel uncomfortable about it but it may grow on them, so that is why it is important to take it little by little. Also, it doesn’t make you feel as intimidated about approaching them.

Similar to preparing for a speech, you might want to practice in front of a mirror, and then on to role playing with someone else. This is where I can help you- I can role play a conversation you might have with your partner so you feel more confident in asking them.

Remember to have some fun with this! The anticipation of it may just be the best part.

If your partner refuses to do the fetish, communication can come in handy here. Perhaps they feel uncomfortable about a certain aspect about it. Talking about what makes them feel uncomfortable can give you both insight into your relationship. The foundation for a good relationship is communication, so talk through it.

Tell me about your fetish. What do you like? Are you ready to bring it into your relationship but are too nervous? Talk about it with me, I can help you out.