Luna's Insightful blog

What's your favorite time? Daytime or night-time?

Time: It’s a funny and strange thing. It ticks by. At time it flies by and other times it can seem to drag or take forever (like on a Friday when you are waiting to punch out at five o’clock and start the weekend) but it never stands still. It can heal wounds, can create apprehension or an excitement, bring a longing or make you wish that a moment in time could stand still or a feeling would last forever. Have you noticed throughout the day whether you are more productive (creative), more lazy or more energetic? Do you have a favorite time during the day?

Let’s explore how different times can affect people personally.

Some people are early risers. They may never need to set their alarm clock due to the internal clock within themselves. A majority of early risers like to get things done with as little distraction as possible like exercising (going for a run, bike ride), hitting the grocery store before the crowds, making a nice breakfast to enjoy or reading the newspaper. Early risers are independent, can brainstorm and usually are detailed oriented to come up with their best ideas or creativity in the morning - well, let’s say before noon. They are comfortable with themselves and can handle what fate throws their way.

Some people tend to awake in the morning around the same time on weekends, as well as weekdays. They can enjoy exercising or a workout anytime - in the morning or in the evening. There is no preference as long as they get it in there. May tend to get a second wind around 4 p.m. and have an array of interests. A majority of people who fall under this category are highly adaptable, energetic, are at times, both, introverted and extroverted and are not that easily put in a routine - tend to go with the flow of things and still manage to get things done.

Some people may feel their utmost best after lunch or in the afternoon. While other people feel as though they are ready for a nap during this time, the late afternooner’s are feeling alert, assertive and productive. A majority of people in this category are optimistic and talented and will forge ahead to overcome any obstacle thrown in their way or path and will go get, go after and achieve whatever their goal is.

Some people are just night owls. They love the night and feel most alive, attentive and alert during this time. They tend to toss and turn if they go to bed before midnight and tend to skip breakfast. Night owls tend to have a wit about them and are considered a people person. They are able and willing to shoot the breeze or converse with anyone. Night owls are very in touch with themselves and are not so opposed to someone else’s opinion or point of view. They also tend to have a zest for life about them and have an adventurous and artistic side.

What you wear (fashion-wise) can speak volumes.

Do your clothes fall into a specific pattern?  Example, for work, do you like to wear stripes?  Or perhaps for outings, you prefer to wear florals?  Well, let’s see what your clothes reveal about you.

Florals: You are a sophisticated people person.  You tend to be warm and easily approachable. Flowers convey grace and social ability, which is why you don’t often see one flower-you tend to see many which suggests togetherness. 

Vertical stripes: You are a go getter.  You tend to be assertive and ambitious.  Pinstripes convey power and may elongate your figure or frame.  The suggest crisp lines which represents you are on your way up and are dedicated to accomplishing your goals.

Polka dots: You are a multi-tasker. You tend to be intensely focused and convey balls of energy.  You are disciplined and concentrated.  This pattern tends to make you understand that life shouldn’t be taken to seriously and to enjoy playfulness.

Horizontal stripes: You are confident and no nonsense.  This pattern says you believe in yourself and have optimism.  You see the world without limitations (just like the horizon).  You tend to display confidence and hope and can make things happen.

Animal prints: You are a creative leader.  Animal prints tend to mirror or relay the qualities in you.  You have a take charge spirit and strength along with a feminine nature because of the tie to Mother Nature and Mother Earth.

Zebra print: Shows you're adventurous in life and fashion, you are bold and confident.

Cheetah print:  Flirty, feminine and seductive.  Will tend to wear perfume and are able to win over difficult people in business.

Giraffe print:  Shows you are trendy and youthful.  Tend to experiment with new trends or types of food/cuisines and you most likely prefer gems over pearls.

Marriage......how is yours?

Are you married? Is your marriage having problems?  Did you know that 50 % of marriages are over or have been lost and given up on by the seventh anniversary year in a marriage? Marriage is hard work. It is a tough job. Did my marriage succeed? Nope, we went down hill - not quickly, but steadily. Together for three years, married for seven, divorced now for 16 years. The four horseman (as I’ve heard it be called, because there are four stages or predictors), and there are many people out there who are riding them. The question I hear is how do I (or we) reverse this?  I get asked this after a reading where I see that they are experiencing problems.  Well, I am not a licensed therapist or counselor so I honestly just don’t know. People are always looking for marital fulfillment and ways to keep their marriage alive. Everyone deserves to have an abundant marital life, but one way or another, everyone deserves to be happy. However, I find that people are so ready to criticize and put each down, blame the other person for why things are going wrong and just moan and groan over such petty stuff. Where is the affirmation? Where is the honesty, truth and honor today?

Men, when was the last time you told her that dinner was fantastic or that she cooked an awesome dinner? If she re-arranged the furniture to spice up the room and give it new life, did you comment about ‘wow this is a nice change’ or did you say ‘now why did you do that? I’m going to bang my leg on this.’ Ladies, if he cut the grass, did you take a few minutes to step outside and look at how nice it looked and tell him so? Or if he fixed something that was long overdue, did you say thank you - that is wonderful to have it work again - what a good job? It’s a good idea to have affirmation and be enthusiastic over something, whether it be a great dinner or a nice lawn that the neighbors would be envious of. Where is the pedestal? When people are dating, there are times when there is no other thought penetrating the mind except when will I speak to him/her again or I can’t wait to see him/her and spend time with them. He tries to impress her and she tries to impress him and each person is basically put on the pedestal. Try showing some admiration and see where it leads. By showing or having some admiration and affirmation, you have the power to send that person’s mood into a high level of happiness and make them feel appreciated. You can touch that person and get a point across, send a look or make a comment. These actions can be powerful. Think back to when you were dating your mate. What each of you did back then, is how you caught your mate. So if you can incorporate those things again into your ‘now’ stage, it may help to keep your mate and ease stress in the relationship. Reconcile and forgive when it’s needed and called for, just like having admiration and affirmation. These are simple, but important and powerful.

Did you know that in the Bible, scripture refers to words as ‘jewelry?’ Now depending on the Bible you have Proverbs, chapter 25, verse 11. Verse 11 states - ‘A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.’ Or it may say a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. Verse 12 states - As an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprove upon an obedient ear.’ Either way you chose to use your words, remember you have the power and hold the key to heighten someone or bring them down. There are two of the four horses - affirmation and admiration.

As I mentioned above, people are so willing to cut each other down - always on the defensive. And contempt, let’s not forget that one. People are always flinging that one around. Contempt is a lack of respect of something or for something. These are the thieves and marriage killers. They steal, kill and destroy. These are the enemies of marriage. Fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce, 67 % of second marriages end in divorce and 74 % of third marriages end in divorce. A broken marriage is tough, just ask the children of broken marriages. Why not try vulnerability. Being vulnerable shows your fears and dreams (no matter how far fetched or way off it may seem). It leads to a level of intimacy. It’s hard to be vulnerable because when you are happy, you’re not vulnerable. But, if you are hurt, you are vulnerable. When you are angry, that is a symptom of being hurt somehow and someway, so you are vulnerable. How about trying respect and reconciliation? Have you ever been out and about and there are other couples around and he is talking about some story and all of a sudden, she chimes in to correct him or make a point or may just roll her eyes or look at him like oh no, not again with the story. Have you ever done that? There is a lack of consideration and respect there. Outing him, could cause a spat or attitude to occur and if you are out with other people, that may put a damper on things. Let him have fun and tell his story. You can always laugh with the girls and say we saw Tom Jones, not Englebert Humperdink. Let him have fun. Reconciliation is powerful, it’s like the bridge of forgiveness. Would the story he is telling really be worth a spat and put a damper on things? It’s a story, it’s petty. It’s not a life or death situation so the full details really don’t matter. The story will most likely be forgotten anyway.

Have you ever considered a ‘date’ night? For people I know who have been married and are successful and still happy, I noticed that they have date night or couple time. If the kids are young, they get a sitter and go out to get away from the same four walls. If they have couple time, they let the kids play at a friends house for a few hours and they have their ‘couple’ time. They use this time for whatever they want. They can cook together, cruise on the Harley, take a bath together, make love, discuss fears, wants and hopes. It is important to make arrangements for the kids to be gone so concentrating on each other is easier with no interruptions. The key point is that kids grow up and leave. Spouses stay. What happens if (and God forbid) an accident occurs and someone is injured? Will you leave because your mate lost an arm or leg or will need a wheelchair? Sex isn’t everything, but intimacy is great as is stimulation of the brain. This is where words are like apples of gold in pictures or settings of silver. The brain is always working and needs to be stimulated. Words and conversations are key factors to this. Words can light a spark which gets the fire started or it can have you reaching high levels of confidence.

I have known some people to do this simple exercise together usually around the time when their anniversary is approaching. This may sound really silly and men will most likely think no way will I do that, but it is fun. It’s almost like taking a vacation together but doing it with memory and words. What happens is the two of you sit down and reminisce about the year together. It’s like keeping a journal for one day out of the year. They write about some humorous story, a memorable moment, a happy event, some stressful event that they thought they would never get through (loss of job, kids creating problems in school, etc), perhaps a vacation or even a time when someone’s breath was taken away by some stolen moment, a fear (someone was ill and in the hospital, etc). Whatever the experience is, once it is written about or spoken of, it will get the memories flowing. Some of my friends have written about shoveling snow and then falling down together to make snow angels, kissing in the rain and running barefoot into the puddles, riding shotgun, leaving love notes in coat pockets or packed lunches and fragrances that have always drove them nuts like Jovan Musk Oil, Jontue, Explanation or Vanderbilt and for the guys - English Leather, Aqua Velva - LOL. That is going back a ways, you youngsters won’t have a clue. (Oh but they were the good ‘ol days). It’s fun going back and remembering. Some of my friends have written about when he would come over and cut the lawn and she (wanting to catch his eye) would come out and lay by the pool or in a reclining lawn chair to work on the tan. (Yes, back in the day, we would worship the sun and work on our tans). Or they’d write about how handsome he looked in his armed service uniform. Memories are precious. And once you get started, you’ll remember things long since forgotten or placed on the back burner in your mind and heart.

If you are experiencing difficult times with your marriage and are not ready to throw in the towel, I would highly suggest praying, seeing a marriage counselor, or talking to your church authority (minister, priest, etc.). What you chose will have a lasting effect on your life. If you can’t afford a counselor or are embarrassed to speak with your church authority, you could always try writing a letter to each other to explain what you are going through and how you feel. This way you each can put the shoe on the other foot and work on it from there to make progress. Like I stated before, I am not a therapist or counselor, but if you are not ready to throw in the towel, there are things you can consider and take a chance on. But it will take both of you. Do not blame and criticize. That will get you nowhere. After all, for things to get to the point that it is at, it took both of you to get here and it will take both of you to work on the bridge of forgiveness. This would be the time to reflect and see how each of you have changed or grown and get back on track to grow together. Brightest blessings and much hope for a long life on your journey together.

Beware - thieves are getting smarter.

Do you enjoy life or endure it?

Yes, we can get up in the morning and think, wow, I feel pretty good, but in an hours time, we can feel discouraged. Is it even possible to be or feel glad and happy continuously? Strange how we can get up and feel good in the morning or we can get up and dread what the day will bring. Some of us get up knowing there will be a parking lot on the beltway/expressway and we'll be part of it or that there is construction which causes delays.  We can get up knowing there is a boring conference call that we’ll be sitting through or that some report was due yesterday and it’s still not done or, perhaps, the dreaded ‘evaluation’ is due on our job performance. Ug. No matter what the day may bring, we are prepared for victory or defeat, whether we know it or not.

For those people who are out of work, you may have to deal with that issue right in your face or if you have children, you have to deal with them. I know there are many out there with kids. They have after school activities, homework, may have a cold, allergies, asthma, ADHD or cerebral palsy. It’s always something. For me, it was years before I ever had a hot meal. Kids got fed first and then husband, then the kids were done and wanted seconds - it was the never ending cycle. By the time I sat down, the food was cold and very little was left. Then it was time to clear the table, do dishes, check homework, bath time for the kids, lay out the clothes, make sure they had clothes and that laundry didn’t need to be done. Ug. And on top of all that, I worked full time outside the house. But still I did it and I took care of everything and everyone. If I were to get up in the morning and think - oh, I have all these problems and dwelled on that, then I most certainly would be in for a lousy day. In fact, I may not have even wanted to get out of bed. After the busy morning with getting everyone up and out, I would breathe and tell myself, something good will come from this day for my sacrificing. I am going to have some laughs, some divine intervention because it’s the end of the month and my end of month accounting stuff needs to be done and closed and I expect something to be off, but I know a breakthrough of some kind will get me through it and it will all work out.

Now, I’ve heard it said that God works in mysterious ways, just like you have heard. So if we look at our problems or dilemmas and say - okay I’m going to prosper today (despite of today’s economy) or if plagued by a cold or illness, say - okay I’m going to feel better today or one day soon, I will make my dreams come true (even if there are no resources today available). We are preparing for victory - no matter how small it is - it’s still going to be a victory. However, if we lay in bed and think of all the problems we face and the mistakes we have made, that is defeat popping it’s ugly head in to make us feel like we have no chance. But we do, we do have a chance and opportunities do come to us but we just don’t always see them. If we are at work and someone gripes and groans or puts some blame on you for something not getting done, just look at that person and think to yourself - oh no you don’t. I choose to live this day ‘happy’ and I am not going to let other people, including you (the person you are looking at) steel my joy today. Nor, will I let disappointments and set backs discourage me. Nope, nope, nope. I have made up my mind to enjoy this day and I will. No one will set me back or ruin it for me. I will not give you or anyone else that control over me. I will receive blessings and good things and in return, I will uplift someone else and create joy for them all the while.

Happiness depends on how your mind is arranged. I know, easier said then done. Setbacks and obstacles will occur to change our circumstances, that is life, but we don’t have to allow those setbacks to change our mind on choosing to have a ‘happy’ day. The illness you may suffer from can certainly change how you feel, but you don’t have to give in - keep thinking I will not let this change my mind. I choose to have a happy day. Be determined to enjoy the day that you have been given. The sun may not always be out and shining, the clouds may follow you for a few days, but the sun will come back out eventually and even in the rainy days and cloudy days, we can be determined to live ‘happy’. We all face tests, trials, temptations and unfair situations. It’s going to happen at one time or another. After these tests and trials, there is increase and promotion. We become stronger and wiser, we grow spiritually because of these trials we endure. We are not alone in our trials. Everyone experiences them. Some people are losing their homes, some are seeing a major decrease in business, some are dealing with illnesses, some are facing legal issues. These are all draining issues and suck up energy and courage. It’s important to keep energy and strength levels up so we can come through this. If you are going to court and are defensive and hostile, the judge may look at you and think - don’t like the attitude - and slap you with a fine, time or some type of service to be done. Attitude plays a key. If you are in traffic and it’s more like a parking lot then a highway or beltway, think you are right where God wants you, look around at the other people. Some will be cursing, some will be singing to a song, some will pick their nose. The point is, you are in a traffic jam, but further ahead, someone may be dead from an accident or badly injured. Be glad hearted in some way because there is always someone who is in a worse predicament. That is a terrible thing to say, I know, but sometimes that helps me to get through my problems.

Every setback will present a new opportunity. Yes - it’s hard, yes - it’s unfair, yes - it doesn’t make sense, but you are being set up by these circumstances to be better. By complaining, you will remain right there, idle and stagnant. Don’t look at what didn’t work out or what’s wrong, look at what is right. Look at what has worked out. Plus, by complaining, that only brings everyone else down to that level (if they let it) and then where is the joy? By being negative, sour and defensive, you won’t pass the test for a new opportunity and promotion to come to you. You need the new growth to become a better you. Things, concerns and obstacles do pass. Don’t look at how far you have to go, look at how far you have already come or how far God has brought you.

If you are depressed, in a rut, feeling ill and just think there is nothing to look forward to, go and look in the mirror. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself you are handsome (guy), beautiful (lady), that you have a life and happiness to look forward to. Tell yourself that you have amazing qualities and someone is looking for you because of those qualities, whether it be a romantic partner or job opening. Look around your home and see what you have accomplished and worked hard for. Go and make a nice dinner, say a blessing (optional), enjoy the dinner and your own company and tell yourself this is the beginning of good happenings. Use dinner to celebrate new opportunities coming to you. Obstacles will pass sure as the day turns into night. Take a walk and look at birds flying, squirrels playing, children making noise and playing, people running/jogging with their walkmans/ipods. The cars pass by with music blaring and people singing their hearts out. Check out the colors of the flowers in bloom and the trees coming to life. Make life happen and bloom. Choose to be light hearted, happy hearted, and open hearted and see what happens. You can start slowly. Try it on a weekend. Try it on a Monday morning. If by Monday afternoon things are turning to dread, take a few minutes to breathe and recite, I choose to have a happy day. Okay, it may take a while to get yourself to learn how to think and choose ‘happy.’ But the more you practice it, the happier you will be and then amazement will set in. Just like taking on a new job, you have a training period and probationary period.  Try training yourself to be happy.  It can certainly benefit your life.  Choose to be a victor in victory and not a victim. If you are religious or spiritual, pray and use the power of spiritually, no matter if it’s God, Allah or Buddha. Brightest blessings for a 'happy' day!