Merry Fall Equinox!
Are You Suffering Decision Fatigue?
This is a real thing. Psychologist, Dr. Roy F. Baumeister discribes this mental illness in his book, Willpower
. If you’re in the groove for a new pop-psych book, I highly recommend this one.
A modern-day psychological disorder, decision fatigue is growing into a
monster in people’s personal lives and workplaces. For some, making
upwards of twenty impactful decisions an hour means they have maxed out
their mental ability to decide.
Making decisions usurps mental energy and deciding wisely demands focus
and balance. On the one side of the scale, you have the paralyzing fear
of making the wrong decision and paying unforeseeable consequences for
it. For the rest of your life.
Equally pressing on the other side of the scale is a push to choose NOW,
which may be real or imagined. Some work situations may demand that
you decide promptly, and this may be true particularly if others are
involved in the process. If you must make a lot of decisions in quick
succession then it will sorely impact on other areas in your life where
you also need to make decisions, such as those concerning your private
High Powered Deciders
Having to make constant decisions may force you to start picking your
decision battles such as, what to wear, eat, be entertained by, etc.
People with demanding jobs favour a uniform for work; such as, a gray
hoodie and jeans (Mark Zuckerberg) or jeans and a black turtleneck
I’ve spoken with clients who complain about spouses/lovers who never
seem to have any opinions or preferences about how they should spend
their time together. They complain about always being the ones who must
pick something to do because if they don’t, as a couple, they will end
up sitting in front of the TV, night after night. If you find yourself
in this boat, likely you are loving someone who is suffering decision
fatigue in other parts of their lives and they need help getting it
I knew a dominatrix sex worker who described her typical client as a
high-powered executive/professional who felt a desperate need to be
dominated by someone who was good at taking charge. For a specific,
previously contracted amount of time, she made all the decisions and
effectively, safely, meted out predictable punishments. Her client base
was substantial and the demand for her services was perennially far
greater than she could possibly fulfill.
She was a busy, phenomenally successful businesswoman who exploited this
dynamic brilliantly. Her clients needed some time when they could just
be like a child; no decisions, responsibilities or power. Rarely did
their sessions include sex.
How Have I Helped Others to Make Decisions They Can Live With?
Decisions are a major element in my work with clients. Most people who
consult with me are stuck betwixt and between opposing options. They
must decide whether to remain in their committed relationship or
continue working at their current job: They may need help deciding how
to approach a stressful familial issue, or illness, or whether they
should sell their house or invest in a business. My stymied clients are
afraid of making a choice they will regret, or they wonder if they
might have missed a third option. They need to know what the outcome is
likely to be depending on the choice they make and how their loved ones
are likely to react to their chosen course of action.
Making Decisions is Lonely
Consultations with me will demand that you sit and ponder, free from
distraction. They afford you an opportunity to talk things through with
someone who is not in your life. You are driven to go offline for a
while and focus on where you’re at, where you want to be, what you’re
hoping for your future self and where you’re likely heading. Most
clients will say I’ve just validated what they had already surmised. It
was nice however, to have that validation.
Making decisions can be lonely because we fear talking to anyone who
knows us well about it. We know loved ones will likely and
understandably have an axe to grind. We may also feel despondent at the
notion of sharing our decision angst with someone who may be inclined
to tell us what we want to hear because that’s just a waste of time and
We need to have the plain, honest thoughts from someone who has no
vested interest in which direction we choose. Someone who has no
judgement. It’s nice to have some sense of our futures as well. We
don’t need to hear that we’re crazy or that things will just work
themselves out because we know in our hearts that’s just not true.
As we slip into the autumn season, we’ll all be making more than our
average number of decisions. Do what you can to keep the decision demon
at bay. Pick the ones you must make and let go of the ones that are not
as critical. Prioritize, consult and be mindful that you don’t get
overwhelmed and fatigued. Save your energy for the big things that
demand your full attention. And no matter what, don’t take on someone
else’s decision load! That’s their garden to weed and hoe.
I've restarted uploading new videos to my YouTube channel
this past week so more will be added in the next few days. If you have
enjoyed this series which describes a clients' questions, the cards
drawn and interpreted, you might like to subscribe to my youtube channel
and press the notification bell so every time I've uploaded a new video
you'll receive an email in your inbox.
Here are a couple that have been very popular! Just click on the link to go directly to the YouTube site.
Friends & Lovers
How Do I Get Out of this Muddle?
Surviving a Crisis
Will I Find True Love?