I was going to launch into Happy Valentine’s Day and then changed my
mind. I had a complete first draft written, using the tarot Lover’s
card to plant the theme – until I woke up the following morning with the
revelation that this wasn’t what I wanted to write about after all.
Romance, Valentine’s Day, hearts, flowers, chocolate doesn’t speak to me
about love. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with any of
these things, but they don’t symbolize true love to me.
The Hierophant in the tarot does however, speak volumes to me about
love. The Hierophant card symbolizes our spiritual father or holy man.
It represents an individual who translates the word of the divine.
Conversely, the High Priestess symbolizes our spiritual mother but
that’s for another month.
The Hierophant Re-Versioned
The Hierophant teaches (or more accurately, admonishes) morality,
personal sacrifice, commitment, selflessness and self-discipline. He’s
uncompromising. His element is earth, and like a Taurus, Virgo and
Capricorn, he’s about arduous work, and steadfastness. Do what you say
and say what you do sort of guy. In modern, innovative, feminist decks,
the Hierophant is re-versioned as the Crone or Teacher, but the meaning
alters only slightly.
From a feminist perspective, the Hierophant in classic Tarot is rigid,
patriarchal, judgemental and hierarchal. He makes us uncomfortable. In
terms of LOVE however, the Hierophant is worthy of notice.
This month, I’m celebrating our 28th
Wedding Anniversary. We married on February 16th
because I just couldn’t bare the idea of marrying on the 14th
That was just TOO….well you know. Just TOO extra as one of my clients
likes to say when describing something that’s just TOO much.
We met in July 1989 and married in February 1990. Yep, short and
sweet. I can’t say I knew from the moment I met him I wanted to marry
him. I didn’t like him. He was bossy and I don’t like to be bossed
around. After seeing him a couple of times, however, (I had no choice,
he was coming into my place of work), he started growing on me. I
noticed I was watching the door every time it opened to see if it was
him. Finally, I suggested to him that since I had the following day off
(and I was feeling a little wistful about that), why not meet in a spot
away from my work environment so I wouldn’t have to put up with
constant distractions and could focus more on him. He was amicable to
the suggestion and so began a series of meet-ups away from my workplace.
When I suggested we move in together because that would afford me even
more opportunity to focus on him, he laughed and said, “Not in your
life. The only way I’m going to live with you is if we’re married.” I
was a quick study at 34 so I enthusiastically replied, “Let’s get
married then.” He grinned and said, “Sure, since you’re askin’.”
Then it hit me. WHAT WAS I THINKING??? Had I gone completely bonkers?
But once the cat is out of the bag, it’s tough to try and get that
wiggly thing back in. I had never intended to remarry. My first
marriage was a disaster which had convinced me this was not an
institution I liked. I’m not keen on institutions in general but this
one, for sure, NO.
I regarded him speculatively as he continued grinning at me with one eyebrow raised. “So. When are we going to do this?”
I answered, “How about in two weeks?” Had I really said that? Now I was having heart palpitations.
And so we did. Got married in two weeks from that fateful night. Two weeks that flew by in a blur of preparation.
“We were married. You know, nothing is ever black and white, there’s a lot of gray in there.”
It’s said that when we fall out of love, that’s when real love begins.
Typically devastated, we truly SEE that other person outside our own
projections, expectations and imaginings. They are a whole person, apart
and separate from us. They are OTHER.
Marriage is a complex relationship. Like one of my wise, widowed
clients said the other day, “We were married. You know nothing is ever
black and white, there’s a lot of gray in there.” I was struck with the
simplicity and TRUTH of this statement.
In the beginning, we’re black and white. We’re opposites (and he was
about as opposite to me as one could get), and there have been times in
our commitment when I’ve looked across the abyss that gapes between us
and wondered how we’re ever going to cross that ego-bound divide. How
will we find our way back to each other? With rigorous intention,
determination, co-operation, compromise, commitment, sacrifice and
kindness, we have and do.
Love Must be Equal on Both Sides
The love is too strong a bond to simply give up on. But it must be equal
on both sides. That’s the wonder of this type of couple love. Both of
you, continuously, strenuously working hard from your respective,
individual selves, to narrow the chasm, to come back together in a union
of opposites that brings out the best in yourselves. “I love and care
for myself the most when I’m with you”, is the theme song. That’s the
melody of love waving back and forth between you like bodies of water
that nourish and energize you both for a lifetime.
It’s the meaning of the Hierophant to me in this anniversary month.
It’s when I celebrate this deep, abiding and lasting love to which I am
profoundly grateful. It’s not hearts, flowers, Champaign and
chocolate. It’s a montage of memories like a patchwork quilt that’s
nourished my soul for twenty-eight years. It’s commitment, doing the
right thing even if it’s not the easy thing, it’s being present with the
OTHER through the good, the scary, messy and the joy.
I see you and I love you. That’s what February means to me. I wish you a
loving, Hierophant February and if not now, then in the not so distant
challenge article which you can read HERE
My Reading List for dream interpretation books
that are worth your time, you can find HERE
My article on The Problem with Soulmates
you can find HERE
Tarot by Kathleen
Tarot by Kathleen (Canada)
Best Psychic in Canada
Phone in Victoria
Your reading was amazingly accurate, I’m currently pregnant and
you said I would be by Sept. 18th, this year or next. I found out Sept.
Thank you, Lynn"