I met with a woman last week here in Victoria who is just about to
launch a Tarot reading practice in northern Ontario. It was such a
pleasure to meet with someone who is just at the starting gate of her
journey into this work. Her questions and insights reminded me of my
teaching days and how much fun it was to share my passion with others of
There are a myriad of components to reading for another. So many that when someone calls me off my web site and asks, “So what is it that you do exactly?”, I stumble and mumble around a bit until I find my stride.
We’re storytellers, advisors, and probably most importantly what I would describe as a re-framer. I’ve always been told I’m particularly gifted at that. Long before I was a professional reader, I was a re-framer.
listen to people’s narratives about their lives and help them to
re-frame the ways to think and describe their stories. Too often when
we’re telling our story, it can be contaminated with insecurities,
self-deprecation, and self-flagellation. What it is about guilt and
apology that’s so alluring anyway!?
I help people tell and
consider their story objectively and hopefully help them to take a
larger and more long term perspective. Most would agree that everything
happens for a reason. When a relationship collapses or we lose a job
or a friend, it usually turns out to be a good thing. It probably means
you’ve dodged a bullet, you just can’t see that yet.
I also give people a sense of where they are heading in their story-path. Good to know!
Dodging a Bullet
spoke with a client last night who was typical in many respects to what
many women go through at some point in their lives. They find
themselves in a relationship with someone they’ve known for years as a
friend. They can’t believe how fortunate they are to be falling in love
with someone who is already familiar and trusted. Then BOOM!
Inexplicably, alarmingly that person steps away. The relationship is
over and that so and so has moved onto another. She asked me
tearfully-wistfully if he would be crawling back soon; regretful,
apologetic, and devastated. She asked me if he would soon see clearly
that this new “s---“ isn’t right for him, that obviously he belongs with
Nope. That is definitely not going to happen.
that of course didn’t make her happy. Maybe that’s a bit of an
understatement. She cursed, cried, yelled and fell into a puddle of
I worked to help her to see that this relationship was
just not to be. The seeds of its disintegration were evident right at
the start, she had just turned a blind eye to them. I’m sure she wasn’t
fine when our time together came to a close. I wasn’t able to heal her
wound in such a limited time frame but I was able to help her see that
once she has suffered enough, is honestly sick of moping about him,
she’ll be out there meeting people and dating someone new. He’ll be a
lesson, a memory, a step along the way in her journey to fulfillment.
Drawing a Tarot Card as One of My Play Tools
do use my Tarot deck but not especially in a traditional manner. I
don’t always do full spread readings for everyone. I don’t do readings
exactly the same for everyone or even the same every time. It’s a dance
between my intuition and my tools which include the Tarot but not the
Tarot exclusively either. I pick up my pendulum to answer yes/no
questions or sometimes a crystal. I might “accidently” drop something on
the floor which spurs me to examine it more closely. Spirit speaks
through all kinds of symbols. One time I asked a question and the
lights flickered. That doesn’t happen often so it made me pause and
ponder what I’d just asked. That train of thought led to an interesting
exploration that the client found immeasurably helpful.
I just pull cards as the client asks questions or several if the
question is complex. For example, with the woman above she asked, “How does he feel about me?”
Because it was obvious his feelings had transited from his original
feeling for her (not unusual) to how he was feeling about her today, I
pulled several cards and pondered what that meant. Interestingly his
feelings were warm and he expected to feel even better towards her in
Since she wasn’t feeling the love nor did she ever
expect to in the future, this came as quite a revelation. The dynamic
between these people in the past, today and looking forward gave me a
stronger sense of where he was at about his feelings towards her.
woman came for a reading with questions about her marriage. I turned
up the Prince of Swords for him and right beside him I turned over the
Princess of Swords. What immediately stood out was the fact that he
was looking off in the distance away from her and she was looking
towards him. That’s exactly how I read it.
I said, “He is looking off somewhere and you are looking at him but you aren’t getting eye contact”.
I listen for the unspoken
question – the underlying concern. Some clients will come with a
bazillion questions and I can’t answer all of them in the time arranged –
so my primary goal is to help clients to identify their BIG question or
at least central theme. Then if we have time remaining we can jog
through as many of their smaller, more specific questions as possible.
times, I simply need to know what is predominantly on my client’s mind
today. I start by asking them if there is anything keeping them awake at
night or waking them up in the middle of night, unable to return to
slumber. Once the main area of concern has been identified, getting to
the central question is not so difficult. Freud once declared that once
our love and work life is sorted we’re adjusted and happy. That’s
really all it takes.
I would add a few others to mix as well such
as health, money and our children’s (if we have children) happiness.
They are as important. I would say almost 99% of what people ask me
fall somewhere in those five categories.
Divination is a Reverse Perception
client is not required to ask a question and certainly I read for many
clients who shy away from the invite to do so. I explain to clients
that if they don’t ask a question they are left with the complex task of
translating the messages I convey into something that makes sense. If
they ask a question, I do that translation work for them. In a reading
I’m reaching to catch the whole situation, evaluating the issues that
arise from the dynamic interplay of cards within the formal structure
which takes a lot of experience.
Divination is a kind of reverse
perception where one has to see the whole picture and work from the
whole to the particular. At the same time, however you need to be aware
that the whole is composed of particulars. This is the challenge of
reading and what we as readers must develop advanced skill in. You will
observe the whole pattern – break it down into its particulars - at the
same time see how the particulars make up the whole.
mistakenly believe that doing readings is easy. Like anything the more
you do it, the better you get. It’s challenging, exciting, rewarding
and a privilege. To new readers however, it’s terrifying, frustrating,
depressing and they wonder for at least the first couple of years
whether they can continue. Many don’t. Most don’t to be honest. But
like anything, the longer you persevere, the more confident you become
that you are exactly where you should be.
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