After reading for folks from all walks of life for more than thirty
years, you’d imagine I’d be used to questions and discussions about soulmates
by now but the truth is that any suggestion of soulmates renders me
speechless. This happens a lot in February. Well… it happens most
months of the year but the dearth in February is noteworthy.
Somewhat tentatively, I ask, “What does this notion of soulmates mean to you?”
It does mean different things to different people. Aside from the
obvious that my soulmate is not yours, everyone has a selection of
characteristics that they believe will signal that they are in the
presence of their soulmate.
And let’s be honest, a person’s soulmate 99% of the time refers to the mate
segment of the word.
Soulmate indicators may be physical (height, weight, colouring),
personality (serious, quiet, risk-taking), spiritual (religion) or
intellectual (education, aspirations). In any case, most I speak with
are confident their soulmate is both attractive and attracted to them.
Seldom will an esoteric author take on this issue because it’s just too
grand and sensitive a matter. You might imagine that this is a rather
frivolous query but in truth it’s daunting and powerful. Who we partner
with in life will have a life altering impact on the decisions we make
in every aspect of our lives.
Decisions for example that will determine the status of our health, who
or if we have offspring, our longevity, geographical location, career
path, self-esteem and other familial and friend relationships.
Yet most people choose their life partners rather impulsively, randomly
and well to be blunt rather mindlessly. People who are the most
hesitant of risk-takers by nature will suddenly leap into a partnership
with someone they met hair-raisingly briefly on vacation, online or at
the local grocery store.
True Spiritual Soulmates are Not Good Partners
From what I have learned over the past 40 years about soul mates (which
you could write on a post-it note), a soul mate is someone our soul
is attached to, often inexplicably yet determinedly.
Because this attraction has nothing to do with ego, lust or apparent
practicality, it’s crazy-making to try and explain it to anyone. It is
also highly unlikely that they would be the perfect mate
for us at all. That’s right. Your soulmate from the perspective of soul
has nothing to do with mating.
A soulmate is like your own personal guru. Your true soul mate is a
spiritual twin not an embodied one. This means that your soul mate
indeed may be presenting in a relationship which is sibling, parent,
child, distant relative, friend, colleague or neighbour. It might just
be someone you meet sitting next to you on the public transit.
is that individual whom, upon meeting them for
the first time, you feel as if you are spiritually home. No words are
necessary for the two of you to be at one yet they are your absolute and
perfect opposite in every way. Complete and absolute opposite.
The two of you together after all make up a complete whole. Where they
love details, you love the big picture; where you love art, they love
accounting; where you love to talk about everything, they are silent;
where you love to travel, they love being at home. Imagine partnering
with someone that opposite to you. It would be frustrating,
conflicting, intriguing and at the same time very addictive.
Not one person in your social circle would understand or condone the
alliance and no matter how hard you tried to explain it, you would fail
Partnership Between Soulmates is a Disaster
You would want to be with them all the time yet rarely would you see eye
to eye or agree on where to be. You would be driven to question every
idea, feeling, impulse or choice you make driving you constantly up a
challenging spiral of growth, and awareness.
It would be exhausting, exhilarating and crazy-making. I pray to meet
mine in the spirit world once I’m done with this one. A much easier to
environment in which to work through out differences.
Your ideal mate is someone who shares at least a few fundamental
similarities, such as values, priorities and personality quirks. These
similarities would never be shared between soulmates
I would be far more comfortable with the question, “Is this person going to make a life-enhancing partner for me?”
I can work with that question with more accuracy and ease.
Articles Published Online in January
Careful guidance, accurate insight, and honest words of encouragement;
that is what I get every time I speak with you Kathleen! Thank you for
preventing me from making awful mistakes and wrong choices and
confirming my worth. I appreciate you always."